Brother

"I found my brother in there
Here in my heart
I found my brother in there
Hold in my arms
I love you

And if I feel too quiet now
There are no words to show you how
I love you

I often feel like the prodigal son
Take all I need
Giving back none
Our beauty shows
In such different ways
You're like the light behind the fog
so soft but still you burn my eyes away

I found my brother in there
Here in my heart
I found my brother in there
Hold in my arms
I love you

And if I feel too quiet now
There are no words to show you how
I love you

So much has changed
So much has happened these years
Still I find, you're waiting here
We have a bond
That nothing can change
Still I find a piece of mind
Whenever I hear your name
And if I feel too quiet now
There are no words to show you how
I love you"

This song by Toad the Wet Sprocket (pretty much my favorite band) has never been a favorite of mine. I've always liked it ok, and thought it was sweet. It just never struck me they way other songs did. Then all of a sudden one day it came on my ipod and I thought "Holy crap do I love this song!" Why? Oh, yeah because I have two little boys now. And honestly one of my biggest hopes for them is to be close. Not just brothers, but friends. So now when I hear this song, it gets me a little teary and I imagine my boys as grown men. And I cross my fingers tight and hope they can feel like this about each other as they grow up. Cross your fingers with me, okay?

Friday Five: Let's Do This!

Another Friday. Another List. Woop!

1. Today I'm pretty preoccupied with plans for the PNW Blogger meetup tomorrow night. I don't know if I can actually say I have any degree of social anxiety. I know people genuinely struggle with it. But I do know this kind of thing makes me just about lose my mind from nerves. But I keep trying to push myself. So as of right now the plan is still on to go. Cross your fingers for me.

2. Although going means my husband driving me and us taking the kids with us. We weren't able to find someone to take them for the night. Oh right, and I don't drive. Have I mentioned that before? Anyway, I tried to tell my husband I could just try and give the ticket away. I mean, a four hour drive to Portland with the kiddos, him keeping them occupied for 3 hours and then another 4 hour drive home? That's kind of a lot of work for a little meetup. But we're doing it I guess.

3. In non-blogger meetup thingie news, Halloween was a success! I did not get many pictures, but I will try and share a few more later. Shawn stayed with Archer to hand out candy, while I made the rounds with Q. He was very good, said 'Trick or Treat!' at every door. Then when I prompted him to say thank you he'd say 'Happy Halloween!' instead. Close enough. We made it up and down our block and then he requested to come home. He found the poorly hidden bucket of candy the next morning and lost his mind when I didn't let him take it with us to daycare. The good thing is we gave him his bucket back last night with only 2 pieces of candy in it and he didn't seem to realize 8000 pieces were missing. Bucket of Candy? Don't mind if I do!

4. So I made a comment to a co-worker yesterday afternoon that Q has yet to have complete meltdown, scream the house down tantrums yet. Well that was a big fat mistake. Because of course he had the mother of meltdowns last night. In public. I was at the mall trying to find a shirt. I was letting him walk along beside me and he was being pretty good checking out the CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS (Just don't. I can't even handle that.) Then we were in a store near it's entrance to the mall. And little dude freaked his freak when I turned to walk in the other direction (like more into the store, away from the mall). He wouldn't come with me, so I took his hand. Then he wouldn't walk and was doing that going limp to the floor thing. So I picked his little butt up and carried him, trying to find Shawn. Meanwhile Q is twisting and trying to get down screaming "Go that way!" as I quietly ask him to calm down. I see Shawn in the distance and just point toward the door like "I'm taking him outside" Of course outside the screaming got worse, he was yelling for Shawn, trying to get down, etc. Shawn eventually just took him to get food while I finished shopping. It was probably my fault for trying to shop when it was basically dinnertime. But man, was that bad. I'm just so afraid that we're at the beginning of a new phase and I'm scared guys.

5. I'm still recovering from Q's meltdown, and combined with my freaking out about tomorrow I can't possibly come up with #5 today. I'm sure you're sad. So.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Archer, lately

Oh boy, sweet Archer. 10 months old already. Okay, almost 11 months old. Where do I start with little Archer? Well he's still just a smiley, happy, sweet little guy. Well, you know, except when he's not. It's just that we're in a clingy phase right now. It's been getting a little better the last week or two, but for awhile there I was losing my mind. He would actually scream his head off if even Shawn tried to take him from me. It's nice to feel wanted, but that's just overkill kiddo.

Okay, so it's a shitty blurry picture, but He's SMILING

Sleep. Ah, sleep. I miss you. Archer's sleep has been getting worse lately, with him waking up as early as 11pm (He goes to bed at 8). We haven't really done much work with him on going back to sleep in his own crib, because wake ups before would be later in the night and he was younger, so I would just bring him back to bed with me to feed him. Now though? This ish has to stop. The thing is I'm just so tired and plus we have Q in the next room and I don't want Archer's fussing to wake him up. So I'm gonna work on it, swear.

Chunky

Mister is really getting around these days. He crawls so freaking fast, and must be so close to walking. He loves to hold on to my hands and walk around the house. He actually comes up to me and tries to grab my hands and get me walking with him. He's been standing up on his own more and more, walking along furniture, all that. I had a dream the other night he started walking and them him and Q were jumping around. I was scared people.

He's eating like a champ, although we really need to work on giving him food to pick up and chew himself. Anything I try to give him though, he eats. Including broccoli, which I can't get Q to even look at.

Holy vocal chords mister! He likes to make a continuous noise like "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" in the car. It's loud. And long winded. And cute/really irritating.

I'm still breastfeeding, but my supply has gone way down. I don't have the energy at this point to worry too much about it. We were already supplementing with formula anyway. He gets maybe one full bottle of expressed milk during the day, but otherwise formula. I breastfeed him before bed, at night if need be, and in the morning before we get up. I'm beyond sick of being tied to my pump during the day though and am having a hard time not just ditching it before his 1st birthday.

And speaking of his 1st birthday, it's coming up way, way too quick. Trying to enjoy these last days of babyness before it's gone. Sigh. Love this little pink chunk of baby.

Wordless{ish} Wednesday: Happy Halloweenie!

I love Halloween. And I love that Q is now old enough to enjoy it. He's been trick or treating for weeks (walking around the house with his pumpkin bucket and putting toys in it, and calling them treats.) He's stoked to wear his dinosaur costume too! I think the actual trick or treat festivities tonight might just blow his 2 year old mind. 

Here's a little Halloween flashback:

2010: Q's first Halloween and a failed attempt to make him Shrek

2010: Trip to Dada's work, and a little mustache (I missed the application of that and apparently it was quite an ordeal)

2010: Dragon it is

2010: Trying to eat the pumpkins (They're better as pie kid!)

2011: Barely made it home in time to get this guy to the mall to check out the other kids. Cutest Skelington ever? Yes, yes he is.

2011: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA We bought this the year before hoping it would fit the next Halloween. It did not and he FREAKED out when I tried to put the hat and beard on him. HAHAHAHAHAHA

 2012: Hoping I get a good picture of this tonight! Riding a dinosaur costume!

2012: Q picked out a Chicken costume for Archer. This will probably not be happening tonight.Could barely get him in this and he refused the hat part. So he'll be revising Q's dragon from 2 years ago Probably

Whew! Lot of pictures, but I was just so excited to be able to post some today! (Let's hear it for Vacation Days and Starbucks wifi!) Hope you all have a fantastic Halloween! Have fun and stay safe!

Linking up with The Paper Mama!

Friday Five: Seriously? That's all you have to say?

1. I just started to write this Friday Five with the MOST boring information. Which must be telling if the first thing I can come up with to start this list off is that I'm going to the eye doctor tonight and getting new glasses. I mean. Compelling shit, no?

2. Now I don't know where to go from here. I mean, I already admitted I don't have anything good today, so you'll know I'm faking it if I keep going.

3. Although I could just tell you I thought of something finally and it's really good, wait until you hear this.

4. But I still haven't thought of anything. At this point I'm thinking, am I really going to publish this list? This list of me saying I don't have anything to say?

5. But then again the internet is full of way more stupid stuff than this. Like this.


Haha, kidding. That was totally awesome. I just wanted to make you watch Glen Phillips. Here's some other awesome stuff I saw on the internet this week:
Telling it like it is @ Harper's Happenings
Side note: VOTE

The Paper Mama is doing the Holiday Photo Challenge again. I love seeing what people come up with.

I'd almost consider trying to come up with something but we are FINALLY getting family pictures taken by this amazing photographer and I COULD NOT be more excited! So I plan on having a nice family photo for xmas cards this year!

Yet another cute idea from Young House Love- Polka Dot Pumpkins! I totally want to do this!

Happy Friday all!!

This week

Can you believe I STILL don't have internet at the house?! I mean. Come on. Thus, more blah blah blahing, and no pretty pictures.

Realized the other day that poor little Archer's room was getting pretty cold at night. Colder than the rest of the house actually. So Shawn bought a space heater yesterday to try and warm things up. And I don't know if the two are related, but for the first time in like, two weeks, Archer slept more or less through the night (4:40am to be exact). I could dance a jig from joy!

I've finally got back to reading again. The last couple of years with the having babies and all, I hadn't been reading as much. I've read a couple great books recently, and have a few more lined up (Thanks to some bday presents.) I might even blog about it. What? A post that isn't about my kids? Say what?

I really want to get out to a corn maze/ pumpkin patch soon. We were going to go a couple weekends ago, but the kids both fell asleep in the car so we kept driving. We didn't make it back that day, and I was bummed because it was PERFECT weather for it. Now we're back to the typical rainy rain and I'm afraid we'll have to sledge through the wet and the mud. Guess that just provides me the perfect opportunity to finally get my rubbers, as my mom would say. I'm speaking of rain boots, of course. AND more importantly I can finally get some for Q.

Did you see up there I said something about a birthday? Well, I had one. Again. Stupid having one every year. I'm still trying to decide if I will be one of those women that embrace my age, all "Look at me! I'm a *mumble mumble* years old woman and I love life! It's aging GLORIOUS!!" or if I've gotten to the point where I will just tell people I'm 21. My aunt was famously guarded of her age. She was an actress so of course she lied and always said she was younger than she was. One of my favorite stories of her: She was in a situation where someone needed to know her age, and not able to speak for herself at the moment the question was aimed to my uncle. Apparently the look she shot him was enough to make him stumble over his words, and I think probably lie a little. Anyway for now, we'll just say I'm thirty something. Like the show, except not. Ok fine, I'm 34. Blech.

I have gotten to the point where I really need to trim my bangs (Oh yeah, I got bangs! It's weird!) but I'm afraid to do it myself. Shawn has volunteered, but I declined that train wreck waiting to happen.
I got my nails done for the second time ever a few weeks ago, and tried the shellac polish. I freaking love it! It's perfect for me since it lasts so long and I don't really care about changing color all the time. The only problem? It does eventually wear down and needs to be redone. If anyone can think of a way to justify paying $30 every three weeks to get it redone, lemme know.

I'm going to the PNW Blogger meetup next month in Portland! Well, I should say I bought a ticket and might go. I might also freak out and come up with an excuse why I can't go. Which, let's face it, is more likely.

I'm getting to the point that while I'm not necessarily done with breastfeeding, I'm pretty done with pumping. Archer will be 1 at the beginning of December, and I might just stop pumping then. Well, if I can make it that far. I have, I hope, a post coming about that too.

This was too long, wasn't it? Oh well. It's lunchtime now, and that means wandering aimlessly through stores looking at things I can't/shouldn't buy. It's one of the awesome/sucky things about working in the city. Hope you're all having a lovely week my dearies!

Q, lately

Q is 2 1/2  today. If I think about how quickly time is speeding by I'll cry like a big blobbering blobber thing, so instead we'll just try and get through a quick update.

If you ask him to say his middle name, Montgomery, he'll say "mamagomery". Yes, it's adorable.

He can remember so many parts of so many books, it's kind of blowing my mind. We have a crap ton of books, so the fact that he is retaining so much is just so amazing to me.

Speaking of books, I took Q to the library for the first time last weekend. Mostly he was interested in the colorful rug in the children's section, and wanted to run and jump on all the letters and numbers printed on it. But he was willing to sit quietly with me to read quite a few books. Little man loves books which makes me so, so happy.

He's been very into monsters lately, which is being encouraged by Halloween. He loves to say "Oh no Dada Monster!" to try and get Shawn to chase him around the house. We're also constantly being chased by monsters and dragons when we're in the car, which makes for some very LOUD car rides.

He loves "Halloween stuff" and "trick or treats." He likes to drag his orange plastic pumpkin bucket (I wanted to buy a cute felt-y bucket, but he was of course drawn to the traditional plastic pumpkin) and put his toys in it and call them treats.

He's quite the bedtime staller and his newest thing to try? Telling me he needs to cuddle. Come. On. I've resisted so far, because I'm a monster. But I don't know, I might not be able to stop myself from pulling him out of his bed for a little snuggle the next time he asks.

When he's thirsty he doesn't need a drink, he needs a COLD drink.

He stopped saying '"Aprise!" when he means Surprise. It's kinda sad when they start saying things correctly, isn't it.

I don't think I'll tell you what he repeated after Shawn said it, but let's just say we really, really need to step up our game on watching the language. It's not even words that I'm so concerned about, but the phrases that come out of our mouths sometimes. ayeayeaye

In the last couple of weeks he has, unprompted, told me he loves me. And told me I'm the best. So, I win.

We have our tough days with him, because you know, he's 2. But mostly? This little dude is ridiculously amazing and smart and sweet and funny and silly. And I couldn't be more happy to be his mama.